It’s no secret that the transition from military life to civilian life can be dramatic. We want to know what your experience was like.
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USAF+retiredsays
For me it was like going from being important and being someone to being insignificant and a nobody. Once I found employment, I could not believe how stupid everyone was and how they approached tasks. I finally went back to work as a federal employee and then I saw how lazy federal employees are. That was 9 years ago. That first couple years was the roughest two years of my life. Now everything is great.
As a black American veteran i was discriminating against when i left the military had two Bachelor degrees , ,no criminal records with credit score of 780 could not get a VA loan for a home, i ask the bank why i loan was turn down, the woman look at my application and saw my race was black , she erase black and put white , the next day the bank call me and approve my v.a home loan
I agree. I couldn’t get employed because I didn’t speak fluent Spanish. It took me a year to find employment but civilians were not professional enough. A PFC in the USMC could do a better job managing. The civilian world needs real training.
Your story is the same as mine. I enlisted as a young 20 year old and
After 23 years of service., I retired.
My entire young life was disciplined through the military.
Most civilians found me “odd” to confined to rules, regulations.
Being fair, not divisive.
And this was CHURCH.
, Ret E-8, US Airforce, 1969 – 1995. I experienced some difficulty because I didn’t properly prepare myself for retirement. Panama City, Florida is a small city and not many high paying jobs unless you wanted to work in the paper mill.. I sold back a ton of leave time plus my pension and wife working I thought I had it made. In a couple months the bills kept rolling in and it’s time to look for a job. I started working at Panama City Marine Institute for children at risk. Loved the job but civilians don’t stay in their lanes of responsibility. Way too much micro-managing, younger inexperienced people telling you what to do and how to do it because they out rank you. I made it there for a couple years and moved on to Lockheed Martin, There I worked on jet engines and got my Aircraft and Powerplant (A&P) Certificate. A couple years later I started working in Saudi Arabia, working on F-15 aircraft. If I would have applied myself and gotten a Bachelor’s degree, along with my A&P Certificate I could have avoided a lot of head aches. Now everyday is saturday because I’ve retired for good. Loved the military it changed my live for the best.
My husband was in Special Forces at Ft Bragg When he got out He tried to go to school at the U of Mn We were told that his education at Ft Sam and Bragg would be transferable. NO not one class. The medics are highly trained, But to treat our Medics as creap is wrong. Several years later he killed himself. The job he loved the most did nt work. He did get a job working in a small village in Ak,. The lies we were told is the hardest partt. Please put a stop to these guys the creep that he went through still hit home
😱
Omg
I’m so sorry .
Just as a person thinks their story is terrible.
Someone else’s story is worse.
My prayers to you and your family.
Omg
Our brother in the Lord Jesus’ arms.
Janet Phillips
Drafted, combat tested, survived. Got spit on and called baby killer, people were scared of me ( with just cause) , drank for 25 years yrying to forget.
A sgt major started a ptsd clinic got me in and really helped until afellow vet started telling people i worked with what was said during sessions.
I have done some good and survived again, now 75 living and always remembering nam. I wish you all a welcome home and belive it or not it will get better. I like to think. Keep at the va it only took me 15 years to get in the door, but watch your back good luck and again WELCOME HOME!!!
Like others I was in A CO. 2/506
WAS IN THE FIELD. CARRY A RADIO THE NEXT WEEK ON MY WAY HOME HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO ACT WHEN YOU GET HOME LIKE THAT EVERYONE HATED YOU.
It was just totally different, looking at the civilians doing the dumbest things work wise
I wish I had stayed in . I would have ended up staying over seas and living there, Big difference but I would have love it. But I was young and dumb at that time.. big mistake on my part! Would have very successful.
The transition was easy, as I had a career waiting for me. I did 6 months active duty and 5 1/2 years National Guard.
While on active duty we were preparing to muster out, when the East West Berlin crisis happened and we were preparing to become active, should this incident break out in a war, and we were ready which ever way it went but fortunately it was over quickly and we mustered out. Now I’m 85 and becoming a Greatgrand Father.
Brian Doyle
James Bynum USA Ret, Served from 1974-1997. Went into business for myself opened up a national Franchise Subway 1997. I guess my expectations of my workers would be a higher standard. I found out soon that everyone didn’t feel the same way I did about life. I went to work for the government U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. A lot of people were former military and the commands were commanded by Army Generals. But there were only 3-5 active military personnel assigned. You find out very quickly how much some people resent former military personnel. Then they start to ask you what grade were you when you were in the military, then they know what grade you were hired in. They try to figure out your money. The military was good for me, but it doesn’t work for everyone. I caught hell being assigned to Infantry Divisions in combat arm units all the time. If it wasn’t for sports I probably wouldn’t have made it to retirement. If your a veteran in and around Atlanta stop by our Restaurant Yummies Café, 7523 Hwy 85, Riverdale GA 30274. Look forward to seeing all of you on this Veterans Day. All Veterans 20% discount .
I got out in dec.of 1966 after 4 yrs. of the marine corp.we were landing by the air force at danang on march the 8 of 1965 and put a perimeter around the air strip i really thought that we were doing the right thing for nam but the war was a mistake we should of never been there we lost all of those people for what? when we landed back in the states at san deigo naval we were spit on by the real americans from that day on we have the same people that have done the same thing to all the men and women of military they have given us the fondas and all those sports people my family and others thought that we were dumb I have been told that we all should of died over there we arent good for anything I was one of the lucky ones my wife and kids believed in me THANK YOU GOD SEMPER FI
When my husband came home from Vietnam he was on medication for hives all over his body he was in the hospital in Japan for three months unable to breathe gave him shots in his heart went to the veterans hospital and was denied help life was miserable for him and me so many doctors trying to change food one doctor tried some other medication to calm him down eventually it started to lighten up the struggle was so upsetting with No help from the veterans administration my daughter passed away at age 39 and my son at age 47 heart attack and aneurysm possibly from agent orange one son left that has breathing problems also lost my husband at age 63 heart attack served his country had no help heart wrenching
My husband served in the Army during Project Freedom. He was a 50 cal gunner on a Humvee. He served on deployment for 18mo. He was proud to be in the front and working to protect his fellow troups.
This man got out of the service in 2005 with honorable discharge. He was a confident young man when he went in. Now he hates everyone, flies off and destroys things in fits of rage and alcohol. He is a complete recluse just to try and stay away from the normal people….. crowds make him extremely scared and really dangerous. He worked Burnpits a lot, came back with this supposed diagnosis of reflux, all medication given does not work. The VA doesn’t listen when he is telling them that he can’t keep a job because he gets angry at bosses, customers and coworkers and attacks or screams at them irrationally. The VA doesn’t listen when he says my medication is not working to mellow his emotions or for “supposed acid reflux”. The man gets hardly any sleep at night. I have been advocating for him constantly to no avail.
I wish the VA could be a fly on the wall here. Don’t get me wrong they do prescribe some medication, but I don’t think it’s the correct medication for what he is going through. He has 80% disability, I think these diagnosis’ are done in this way to keep him from getting the 100% he is owed for disability, and he goes from suicidal to demon from minute to minute nearly every day. I love him and wish there was a way to get proper treatment.
I know there are many of you out there fighting all this as well, my telling his story is to let you know you are not alone! Continue to fight for what is owed to you(it is owed, it didn’t come free). I am proud of all you that served, it is a life sentence done for our great country. Thank you all from a most loving heart.
I was in the U.S, Air Force 20 years (1959 – 1979) I was stationed at bases all over the States, Viet Nam (68-69), Thailand, Germany, Middle East, Guam, Korea. I retired as the 49th airfield supervisor at Holloman AFB New Mexico in 79′. I had no problem transitioning from military to civilian life.
After I left the air force I became a GS-12 Target Control Officer at White Sands Missile Range, NM
I’m not a menber of the woke generation and I do not blame other people for my problems.
The Air Force was my life for 20 years. I flew while in Vietnam, 66 – 67 it seemed like we landed all over from the south up to Hua. I did feel sorry about the men fighting on the ground, but at least they could hide. When the bullets started coming thru the plane there is no place to duck or hide from them. I had just went back and sat down across from the only Vietnamese that spoke English when he got shot in the back and came out his chest. The rest of the Viet troops went ape sxxt. Had to take care of the wounded and calm down the troops. When I came home I could not even make love to my wife, afraid to get too close. The only person I trusted and able to get close to was my little daughter 2 1/2..I was medically grounded. The only thing that saved me was the structured life style of the military. The VA said I was 70% PTSD. 3 heart attacks and open heart surgery.
Sorry you having a hard time, but your nearest DAV, veterans of foreign wars or any veterans affiliated organization can help you a great deal or try your local V A representative. Best Wishes,
I need my pension benefits upgraded and I have not found a person or situation yet that can do so I’ve been ran around for the last 30 years with no pay raise no endorsements nothing but deductions of what I owe back to the government somebody messed up the files and retired on me there’s nothing I can do except go from one counsel to another one so I’m running into a dead end please call me at 646-474-8652 or 718-527-7519 thank you very much if your respond
I served in the USN for 4 years. I am disturbed by what I am reading from vets about not being welcome when they returned from Vietnam. I was not in combat so it is not my place to complain about the treatment vets did not deserve. We flew jets everyday from the aircraft carrier I was on off the coast and I slept on clean sheets every night so I have nothing to complain about.
I went back to college but many knew I was a vet but not once did anyone say anything negative to me nor did I experience some of the personal insults I read here. I did not talk about it, rather, I tried to be the best student possible.
The Navy was good for me. I grew up with no discipline at all and alcoholic parents. The Navy taught me discipline and I embraced it. For that reason, I never complained about the Navy and hold it in high esteem.
I guess the point I am trying to make is, complaining about everything makes you go backwards in life. So does feeling sorry for yourself.. When I read vets talking about there is no structure in their civilian jobs, after their enlistment, tells me they need to find a life. Danny said it right, Take Charge of Your Life!!!!! Sad!
Richard thank you for putting that into a positive attitude and yes i’m also a retired disabled veteran and i had served 10 years in the United States Marine Corps i was in Kabul Afghanistan and Zambia África and it was a hard job but somebody had to do it… I went in to the marine corps at the age of 18 and got out at the age 28 and here i am battling with PTSD from the military and yes it was hard for me to to deal with society again and now that i’m doing well and trying to survive with my health im ok…. Congratulations on your completion
I served in the US Navy from approximately ’66 -” 70. (Nam era) I can’t remember right off due to recent non military memory problems from doctor’s oversites. When I got out I returned to college at FSU.. Years later I discovered FSU was known as Berkley of the South because of all the war protesters, demonstrations and grief for soldiers.. When you just get out your look and act military. I was plainly an outcast and other students would comment about service people as being baby killers and war mongers. It was real hard meeting friends, not mention some of the hassles from professors. But moving on about 15 years I got married. It was about 10 further on that my wife and I met her old room mate. It was this person that commented, “Remember the demonstration we attended protesting the soldiers coming home?” I looked at my wife and said, ‘”So, how’s it feel being married to a baby killer.?” No comment.
I served in the US Navy, 1971-1975. Yes, Vietnam vet. I caught the end of that war. The shameful departure (draw down “all” US Troops from Afghanistan) just opened up a lot of old wounds. The comparisons with the fall of Saigon made me angry & sick! I was discharged “Honorably” with a set of psychiatric illnesses. There was way too much stigma attached to that in the 70’s and on, right up until recent years. My discharge was at a time when the counry was still divided (Hawks vs. Doves or you could say…Patriot Citizens vs. Pacifist, Traitor, Pussies!) and I was grouped in with others, even those that served in Vietnam long before me. I had a difficult time making friends with civilians too. I couldn’t even get a job interview until my hair grew out some and I allowed a full beard to come in. I strived to “NOT LOOK MILITARY”, so that I could catch a break. The notes from the Navy Psych., doc were given to me with strong encouragement to let the VA address my mental health issues. WHAT A JOKE!!!
I served for 20 years and was a HR guy but when I got out I couldn’t get hired. When I did get a job it was not the same as the Army. There was no leadership and it was just all backstabbing. Hard to find a job as a disabled veteran.
I’m speaking for my husband with over 20 yrs of service in the U S N .he medically retired as a chief E7. He was told he had radiation posining..his joints became. Imflamed and was in severe pain that let him to drink alcohol to forget the pain..the drinking became so severe that let to scitsofraniia and no body cared I seen him turn from a healthy man to a frail old man at 60 he passed away. He had a hard time receiving orders in civilian life. He did work and tufted it. So what about the spouse that supported him. WE ALSO ENDURED A HARD TIME TRANSITION INTO CIVILIAN LIFE..AND WHILE THEY WHERE SERVING IN THE MILITARY. I myself had a very hard time and I’m very bitter..
Dear Lydia,
Just finished reading your comment.
I retired from the Navy with 23 years.
Assigned everywhere.
Your husband suffered and was depressed.
It happened to me also.
It was not fair for him.
But now my friend, turn your bitterness back to joy.
Pray… and I will pray for you.
Get counseling. Counseling as difficult at first for me.
But reading, learning to trust again helps.
Bless you.
Janet Phillips
Laurel Maryland
I am. Vietnam Veteran who was discharged in 1969. Coming back to civilian life made very bitter in that no one cared, labeled me a murderer and had difficulty finding a job. I was an electronic technician and wind up repairing tvs. I worked for the postal service and really could understand why they had so many shootings. Supervisors had no leadership clues and were very cruel. I am now retired and see the country getting even worse. I wish all the vets well. Semper Fi.
Sylvester I’m right there with you I got out in 69 right out of Vietnam had to leave California or I would have been in jail I too was spit at at San Francisco airport by some protesters call me a murderer and everything else but I’m right there with you Sylvester I’m still having a hard time and I’m going to be 74 soon I take all kinds of pills in the morning to deal with my PTSD so good luck to you brother
In listed 69 served 11months vietnam.. Served total of 31 months including 17 months in Germany 6 months of that with wife. Came home went back to mill work . ”CHOSE TO NOT LET THING BOTHER ME” retired after 38 years. Filed for VA disability for heart and agent orange affects .Got 80% .just married 71 years 2 kids 8 grandkids 3 greatgrandkids.Enjoying life to the fullist.
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i SAID IT WAS DIFFICULT. i DIDN’T SAY IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE. I still do things that most people would call paranoid or suspicious. Sleep habits and security measures. Trust issues with anyone who has never served, until I know them.
It’s only as hard as you make it. Most Vets think they are owned a free ticket . Man Up and take control of your life. You had the training and experience to run circles around what we have to compete with. I know I never worried about that. So do what you do best, “Take Charge”.
I do take charge but not that easy civilian structure of work experience is lacking. I retired three years ago and very highly experience in auto repair but Always got the hard jobs no one else wanted I keep my head up and push on
Nobody knows what they are doing, military service transition needs a lot of work. They need to focus on older veterans leaving service. Go over all the issues with returning to a civilian lifestyle. I’m not broken I’m just more experienced whether it is technical skills or leadership I’m a better product. IBEW, I’d love to work with them but they have no respect for experienced veterans because of their experience with none experienced veterans they think all veterans are dirtbags. Just go in and apply and see how you are treated. They’re missing out on a gold mine, on the other hand, a better job could be done by the military when articulating technical expertise. They need to be online with O net: https://www.onetonline.org. I have two degrees so it has to be age discrimination.
I had the same problem leaving the airforce as a Senior NCO Medical Technician. After I retired I had to go back to school and get my Nursing License. I have been involved in EMS / Nursing Education since 1970, I applied for a Nurse Educator position at a local hospital. By that time, I had 30+ yrs education, experience, had my MSN in Nursing Education, was an Independent Duty Medical Technician, a Superintendant for a Nursing Eduaction office, Been an Affiliate Faculty for the local Community College Nursing Program, and finished 5 yrs working in Cairo Egypt teaching the Egyptian Nurses Western style nursing. well during the SECOND interview I was asked how many years of bedside experience I had – being honest – I said out of 28yrs, 19 were bedside . Well I waas passed over for a THIRD interview because They had other nurses with MORE EXTENSIVE EXPEIENCE!!! Yeah right, I was a 58 yr old Male Nurse !!!
I understand your dilemma Alex. These civilians do not understand Veterans. I was Army 1973-1994, 12 years Ranger and 9 years SF medic on a hot team. When I retired I went back to school and got my Paramedic while I taught CPR at a community college. Finished community college and went to the university to complete my Masters in Education along with my MSN. Working all during this time maintaining a family of 5. My wife my very supportive but could not understand the problem with people? Civilians want to punish you for being in the military and one has to work harder than the others! They expect military to be non-confrontational. I learned very quickly to just do the job. I learned to look the other way for the people who feel they are privileged. I survived my 10 years getting it done. It takes effort and discipline which all military soldiers have. THEY do not have a clue what veterans go through or have gone through. Yes some of us are damaged but you will succeed if given a chance to succeed. They must be patient and so must we be. I hope this helps some of to understand your journey. I am now a traveling nurse with my wife enjoying my golden years I struggled to achieve going through out the US in an RV. Thank God I hung in there with my family and wife. I will continue to pray for all our Veterans every day. My brother Marine and sons Navy and Coast Guard. I will think of you all while I travel. Happy at 67 and still working. 2nd Ranger Bat and 7th group SF. “Rangers Lead the Way!” HRM
22 years after I separated, marriage and my relationship with oldest child is still broken. I don’t play well with others unless they are vets, so jobs are out.
I’ve been retired for 17 years I thought I could what I had in the military in the fire department, however the brother hood that firefighter’s believe they have is nothing you get in the military the several jobs I’ve been in since retiring from the fire department just offer nothing but a paycheck no leadership of any kind with the exception of narcissistic leadership
IO had an early provision so that I could continue college. I was the oldest student in my c lasses and was asked more questions about my service than I could give answers to. Those classmates that were post service men and women were strong support, I gave more to them than I needed from them. It made for a lot of loving companions down at our favorite bare that catered mostly to vets of all kinds.
My enlistment was cut short for Psychological reasons. When put on a temporary disability List, I struggled with everything, from College to Marriage. So many times I just wanted to die in my sleep or any other method possible. I had over 100 employments all over the Country and would be fired from them for NOT making any sense. My language was like word salad and it was difficult to remember things. Other than that, I was a proud SGT Helicopter Mechanic in the US Air Force. What happened? I just snapped one day and poof, I was on the street homeless, no self esteem and confused. I now go to the VA Medical Centers for treatment. To be honest, I still feel lost in my own mind. I still feel suicidal, but I think old age will get me first. Thank you for your survey
After 55 years I have yet to transition thanks to the lack of support from family, community and nation. From the bush to the US to a Naval hospital and medically retired in less than six months. Refused by the VFW and the American Legion, and ostracized by the glorious VA for more than 29 years, I simply do not play well with other children. I would rather be back in Vietnam than among American civilians!
That is so TRUE I served 64 to 70 and still get no respect People have changed so much since my father and older brother did I hate crowds of people and all the talking
Upon my return from Vietnam I weighed only 122lbs. I was so off the wall my dad took me to the nearest VA hospital in the Bronx. They kept me for 6 months. This was pre PTSD and I was told I had psychosis, whatever that means. At the time the place was a Zoo. Not only we Nam vets were resented by the general public, even the WWll guys on the ward were not at all supportive, They we’re told they were shell shocked or had battle fatigue.
After the 6 months I couldn’t take any more and signed out AMA. Then like many other vets the streets became my new war zone.
The rest of my life (including my careers) has been a roller coaster. My 3 marriages and divorces weren’t much better either.
What I’ve learned is that my life story is not all that unique. Countless other Nam vets have had a similar life experience.
What’s past is past. I just hope these more recent combat veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan have an easier time than we did, both in their treatment and the VA’s willingness to grant them their financial benefits.
I agree we were treated as scum non human and the family didn’t give any support it was like we were alone in a different world now sometimes now some will say you are a hero it pisses me off and I tell them the ones that gave all are the heroes not me I only gave some
You are correct John we are not the heroes, the ones left behind are the true heroes and mine! I served 73-94 and still resent the cliche “thank you for your service “ HEY you really want to show me your appreciation? Buy my lunch! Help me out! Something to show you understand our dilemma! Before going to Vietnam many soldiers were treated with a great send off in Vegas!! You don’t see that anymore. Take care John! Army Ranger Bob
When I retired from active duty in the Air Force, all I had known my entire life was the military (I was an Army dependent). I took a Civil Service job as a way to ‘slide’ into civilian life. That may or may not have worked, however I was offered a job at EDS, the company that Ross Perot, Sr, started. They loved the military and in fact recruited from the military, so my transition was easy. While there are some companies that actively hire veterans, they don’t recruit like EDS did in the 80’s and 90’s. He was truly a visionary. Look up his history sometime and the mark he made on the world, especially the World of IT.
When I came home from VietNam I was afraid to go to sleep for fear of waking up back there. I wondered around the streets of my home town for almost 5 days before I past out from exhaustion.
To this day I have trouble holding a job without a Union to back me up like when I worked at General Motors. There were years that I didn’t have a job after our GM plant sent everyone without 10 years in at the plant. I was locked in the mental ward for 2 weeks and when I was released the discharge said mild PTSD. I tried to get the police to kill me after a highspeed chase. I walked away from a wonderful woman after 9 years of marriage because I was drinking and becoming out of control. I didn’t want to hurt her or our son in a fit of rage. To this very day I don’t trust myself but the VA still turns me down for PTSD.
It was a little difficult adapting and finding my place in civilian life after my discharge. It took five years and a move to another state to finally get back on track, and start being a mindful and productive citizen. My knee injuries that I suffered during my military career and a divorce during that five-year stint didn’t help matters either, Once settled, I separated myself as far as I could from the military, until my brother showed me a more positive side of being an active veteran.
It was so encouraging to readxtge comments. It was very difficult to separate from military back to civilian life. There were not programs in place no behavior health! I was just lost in transitions. For at least 9 months was mentally paralyzed. I had so many mixed emotions and feeling guilty about leaving my brothers & sisters in Arms in harms way as I returned to USA. I was in the Desert Shield Desert Storm conflict. I served 1989 and seoerated 2003.
I retired in 1994. In the first job interview, I was told I wouldn’t probably fit in (It was the local water district!) because I had been taking orders my whole career. Excuse Me!!?? I had been GIVING orders since I was 21! They had no idea what I was capable of doing. Nothing ever came close to tapping my skills. However, as a Disabled Female Vet running my own show was the way to go. WIsh the civilian world understood what we are all capable of!
When I got out in 1980 I was told by my first sgt it wouldn’t be the same any more I blew it off and thought it wouldn’t bother me. Couldn’t have been more wrong. I even tried going back in they refused me because I didn’t have my GED WENT IN WITHOUT one but wouldn’t let me back in was very troubled about that. But still went and signed up for the reserves,had to be Involved some how then the Army national guard then the reserves again. Till this day I go to the VA for my service connected disabilities and collect my 80 percent. So ya I spent a lot of time many years wanting and needing to belong to a military family. I met some great people and some not. I learned so much about life and myself and respect. 17 teen year old and now 62. Maybe not everything turned out the way it should have for me but thank you Army thank you services for all I did get and have and learned.
When I left active duty life was full of surprises and insecurities got slammed for my health care by my employer there was no one to talk to about what I went through
I was discharged 1973, nothing was even offered to us back then!! You were basically put out on the street!! I’ve been trying to deal with the transition ever since, and I am 74
It was and is very hard. I even went through a separation course before getting out, and let me tell you it was full of false information and none facts! You ask how? Well they don’t tell you that if you take the sep and then do or try to do anything with the VA they come knocking on the door for every dime you got and nothing you can do about it. They don’t tell you that your military time translates to nothing and job fears get you jobs like with t-mobile, and other low income jobs. Yah serve you country durning war and then screw you and good luck!
I agree. But even then. It’s been 10 years since I have been out. I’m worse off now than then. I don’t trust anyone anymore. I am not the same person as I was when I went in. My kids and wife remember me in a whole different way and say I was the most loving and kind man. Now they are no longer in my life. They hate me and can’t stand to be around me. I am alone and homeless. Rated 100% disabled 10 years ago with spine injuries and TBI. My mental state is 10 times worse than when I got out. I have nothing left. I currently a victim to the same system that victimized myself and my family 10 years ago. I can’t take much more. I’m to the point of why bother with life anymore.
For me it was like going from being important and being someone to being insignificant and a nobody. Once I found employment, I could not believe how stupid everyone was and how they approached tasks. I finally went back to work as a federal employee and then I saw how lazy federal employees are. That was 9 years ago. That first couple years was the roughest two years of my life. Now everything is great.
As a black American veteran i was discriminating against when i left the military had two Bachelor degrees , ,no criminal records with credit score of 780 could not get a VA loan for a home, i ask the bank why i loan was turn down, the woman look at my application and saw my race was black , she erase black and put white , the next day the bank call me and approve my v.a home loan
I believe you!
I agree. I couldn’t get employed because I didn’t speak fluent Spanish. It took me a year to find employment but civilians were not professional enough. A PFC in the USMC could do a better job managing. The civilian world needs real training.
Your story is the same as mine. I enlisted as a young 20 year old and
After 23 years of service., I retired.
My entire young life was disciplined through the military.
Most civilians found me “odd” to confined to rules, regulations.
Being fair, not divisive.
And this was CHURCH.
, Ret E-8, US Airforce, 1969 – 1995. I experienced some difficulty because I didn’t properly prepare myself for retirement. Panama City, Florida is a small city and not many high paying jobs unless you wanted to work in the paper mill.. I sold back a ton of leave time plus my pension and wife working I thought I had it made. In a couple months the bills kept rolling in and it’s time to look for a job. I started working at Panama City Marine Institute for children at risk. Loved the job but civilians don’t stay in their lanes of responsibility. Way too much micro-managing, younger inexperienced people telling you what to do and how to do it because they out rank you. I made it there for a couple years and moved on to Lockheed Martin, There I worked on jet engines and got my Aircraft and Powerplant (A&P) Certificate. A couple years later I started working in Saudi Arabia, working on F-15 aircraft. If I would have applied myself and gotten a Bachelor’s degree, along with my A&P Certificate I could have avoided a lot of head aches. Now everyday is saturday because I’ve retired for good. Loved the military it changed my live for the best.
My husband was in Special Forces at Ft Bragg When he got out He tried to go to school at the U of Mn We were told that his education at Ft Sam and Bragg would be transferable. NO not one class. The medics are highly trained, But to treat our Medics as creap is wrong. Several years later he killed himself. The job he loved the most did nt work. He did get a job working in a small village in Ak,. The lies we were told is the hardest partt. Please put a stop to these guys the creep that he went through still hit home
😱
Omg
I’m so sorry .
Just as a person thinks their story is terrible.
Someone else’s story is worse.
My prayers to you and your family.
Omg
Our brother in the Lord Jesus’ arms.
Janet Phillips
Drafted, combat tested, survived. Got spit on and called baby killer, people were scared of me ( with just cause) , drank for 25 years yrying to forget.
A sgt major started a ptsd clinic got me in and really helped until afellow vet started telling people i worked with what was said during sessions.
I have done some good and survived again, now 75 living and always remembering nam. I wish you all a welcome home and belive it or not it will get better. I like to think. Keep at the va it only took me 15 years to get in the door, but watch your back good luck and again WELCOME HOME!!!
Like others I was in A CO. 2/506
WAS IN THE FIELD. CARRY A RADIO THE NEXT WEEK ON MY WAY HOME HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO ACT WHEN YOU GET HOME LIKE THAT EVERYONE HATED YOU.
It was just totally different, looking at the civilians doing the dumbest things work wise
I wish I had stayed in . I would have ended up staying over seas and living there, Big difference but I would have love it. But I was young and dumb at that time.. big mistake on my part! Would have very successful.
The transition was easy, as I had a career waiting for me. I did 6 months active duty and 5 1/2 years National Guard.
While on active duty we were preparing to muster out, when the East West Berlin crisis happened and we were preparing to become active, should this incident break out in a war, and we were ready which ever way it went but fortunately it was over quickly and we mustered out. Now I’m 85 and becoming a Greatgrand Father.
Brian Doyle
James Bynum USA Ret, Served from 1974-1997. Went into business for myself opened up a national Franchise Subway 1997. I guess my expectations of my workers would be a higher standard. I found out soon that everyone didn’t feel the same way I did about life. I went to work for the government U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. A lot of people were former military and the commands were commanded by Army Generals. But there were only 3-5 active military personnel assigned. You find out very quickly how much some people resent former military personnel. Then they start to ask you what grade were you when you were in the military, then they know what grade you were hired in. They try to figure out your money. The military was good for me, but it doesn’t work for everyone. I caught hell being assigned to Infantry Divisions in combat arm units all the time. If it wasn’t for sports I probably wouldn’t have made it to retirement. If your a veteran in and around Atlanta stop by our Restaurant Yummies Café, 7523 Hwy 85, Riverdale GA 30274. Look forward to seeing all of you on this Veterans Day. All Veterans 20% discount .
Quota system in effect , had little , no chance of good gainful employment . Despicable
I got out in dec.of 1966 after 4 yrs. of the marine corp.we were landing by the air force at danang on march the 8 of 1965 and put a perimeter around the air strip i really thought that we were doing the right thing for nam but the war was a mistake we should of never been there we lost all of those people for what? when we landed back in the states at san deigo naval we were spit on by the real americans from that day on we have the same people that have done the same thing to all the men and women of military they have given us the fondas and all those sports people my family and others thought that we were dumb I have been told that we all should of died over there we arent good for anything I was one of the lucky ones my wife and kids believed in me THANK YOU GOD SEMPER FI
When my husband came home from Vietnam he was on medication for hives all over his body he was in the hospital in Japan for three months unable to breathe gave him shots in his heart went to the veterans hospital and was denied help life was miserable for him and me so many doctors trying to change food one doctor tried some other medication to calm him down eventually it started to lighten up the struggle was so upsetting with No help from the veterans administration my daughter passed away at age 39 and my son at age 47 heart attack and aneurysm possibly from agent orange one son left that has breathing problems also lost my husband at age 63 heart attack served his country had no help heart wrenching
My husband served in the Army during Project Freedom. He was a 50 cal gunner on a Humvee. He served on deployment for 18mo. He was proud to be in the front and working to protect his fellow troups.
This man got out of the service in 2005 with honorable discharge. He was a confident young man when he went in. Now he hates everyone, flies off and destroys things in fits of rage and alcohol. He is a complete recluse just to try and stay away from the normal people….. crowds make him extremely scared and really dangerous. He worked Burnpits a lot, came back with this supposed diagnosis of reflux, all medication given does not work. The VA doesn’t listen when he is telling them that he can’t keep a job because he gets angry at bosses, customers and coworkers and attacks or screams at them irrationally. The VA doesn’t listen when he says my medication is not working to mellow his emotions or for “supposed acid reflux”. The man gets hardly any sleep at night. I have been advocating for him constantly to no avail.
I wish the VA could be a fly on the wall here. Don’t get me wrong they do prescribe some medication, but I don’t think it’s the correct medication for what he is going through. He has 80% disability, I think these diagnosis’ are done in this way to keep him from getting the 100% he is owed for disability, and he goes from suicidal to demon from minute to minute nearly every day. I love him and wish there was a way to get proper treatment.
I know there are many of you out there fighting all this as well, my telling his story is to let you know you are not alone! Continue to fight for what is owed to you(it is owed, it didn’t come free). I am proud of all you that served, it is a life sentence done for our great country. Thank you all from a most loving heart.
File for 100% due to unemployability. Worked for me!
I was in the U.S, Air Force 20 years (1959 – 1979) I was stationed at bases all over the States, Viet Nam (68-69), Thailand, Germany, Middle East, Guam, Korea. I retired as the 49th airfield supervisor at Holloman AFB New Mexico in 79′. I had no problem transitioning from military to civilian life.
After I left the air force I became a GS-12 Target Control Officer at White Sands Missile Range, NM
I’m not a menber of the woke generation and I do not blame other people for my problems.
WEL*COME OME BROTHER0*
TYPO, WELCOME HOME BROTHER,
The Air Force was my life for 20 years. I flew while in Vietnam, 66 – 67 it seemed like we landed all over from the south up to Hua. I did feel sorry about the men fighting on the ground, but at least they could hide. When the bullets started coming thru the plane there is no place to duck or hide from them. I had just went back and sat down across from the only Vietnamese that spoke English when he got shot in the back and came out his chest. The rest of the Viet troops went ape sxxt. Had to take care of the wounded and calm down the troops. When I came home I could not even make love to my wife, afraid to get too close. The only person I trusted and able to get close to was my little daughter 2 1/2..I was medically grounded. The only thing that saved me was the structured life style of the military. The VA said I was 70% PTSD. 3 heart attacks and open heart surgery.
I think I was robbed of my benefits I have a honorable medical discharge and can not get any benefits what so ever. What can I do to get my benefits ?
Sorry you having a hard time, but your nearest DAV, veterans of foreign wars or any veterans affiliated organization can help you a great deal or try your local V A representative. Best Wishes,
I need my pension benefits upgraded and I have not found a person or situation yet that can do so I’ve been ran around for the last 30 years with no pay raise no endorsements nothing but deductions of what I owe back to the government somebody messed up the files and retired on me there’s nothing I can do except go from one counsel to another one so I’m running into a dead end please call me at 646-474-8652 or 718-527-7519 thank you very much if your respond
I served in the USN for 4 years. I am disturbed by what I am reading from vets about not being welcome when they returned from Vietnam. I was not in combat so it is not my place to complain about the treatment vets did not deserve. We flew jets everyday from the aircraft carrier I was on off the coast and I slept on clean sheets every night so I have nothing to complain about.
I went back to college but many knew I was a vet but not once did anyone say anything negative to me nor did I experience some of the personal insults I read here. I did not talk about it, rather, I tried to be the best student possible.
The Navy was good for me. I grew up with no discipline at all and alcoholic parents. The Navy taught me discipline and I embraced it. For that reason, I never complained about the Navy and hold it in high esteem.
I guess the point I am trying to make is, complaining about everything makes you go backwards in life. So does feeling sorry for yourself.. When I read vets talking about there is no structure in their civilian jobs, after their enlistment, tells me they need to find a life. Danny said it right, Take Charge of Your Life!!!!! Sad!
Richard thank you for putting that into a positive attitude and yes i’m also a retired disabled veteran and i had served 10 years in the United States Marine Corps i was in Kabul Afghanistan and Zambia África and it was a hard job but somebody had to do it… I went in to the marine corps at the age of 18 and got out at the age 28 and here i am battling with PTSD from the military and yes it was hard for me to to deal with society again and now that i’m doing well and trying to survive with my health im ok…. Congratulations on your completion
You were just fortunate!!!
Agree
Richard
I served in the US Navy from approximately ’66 -” 70. (Nam era) I can’t remember right off due to recent non military memory problems from doctor’s oversites. When I got out I returned to college at FSU.. Years later I discovered FSU was known as Berkley of the South because of all the war protesters, demonstrations and grief for soldiers.. When you just get out your look and act military. I was plainly an outcast and other students would comment about service people as being baby killers and war mongers. It was real hard meeting friends, not mention some of the hassles from professors. But moving on about 15 years I got married. It was about 10 further on that my wife and I met her old room mate. It was this person that commented, “Remember the demonstration we attended protesting the soldiers coming home?” I looked at my wife and said, ‘”So, how’s it feel being married to a baby killer.?” No comment.
I served in the US Navy, 1971-1975. Yes, Vietnam vet. I caught the end of that war. The shameful departure (draw down “all” US Troops from Afghanistan) just opened up a lot of old wounds. The comparisons with the fall of Saigon made me angry & sick! I was discharged “Honorably” with a set of psychiatric illnesses. There was way too much stigma attached to that in the 70’s and on, right up until recent years. My discharge was at a time when the counry was still divided (Hawks vs. Doves or you could say…Patriot Citizens vs. Pacifist, Traitor, Pussies!) and I was grouped in with others, even those that served in Vietnam long before me. I had a difficult time making friends with civilians too. I couldn’t even get a job interview until my hair grew out some and I allowed a full beard to come in. I strived to “NOT LOOK MILITARY”, so that I could catch a break. The notes from the Navy Psych., doc were given to me with strong encouragement to let the VA address my mental health issues. WHAT A JOKE!!!
I served for 20 years and was a HR guy but when I got out I couldn’t get hired. When I did get a job it was not the same as the Army. There was no leadership and it was just all backstabbing. Hard to find a job as a disabled veteran.
I’m speaking for my husband with over 20 yrs of service in the U S N .he medically retired as a chief E7. He was told he had radiation posining..his joints became. Imflamed and was in severe pain that let him to drink alcohol to forget the pain..the drinking became so severe that let to scitsofraniia and no body cared I seen him turn from a healthy man to a frail old man at 60 he passed away. He had a hard time receiving orders in civilian life. He did work and tufted it. So what about the spouse that supported him. WE ALSO ENDURED A HARD TIME TRANSITION INTO CIVILIAN LIFE..AND WHILE THEY WHERE SERVING IN THE MILITARY. I myself had a very hard time and I’m very bitter..
Dear Lydia,
Just finished reading your comment.
I retired from the Navy with 23 years.
Assigned everywhere.
Your husband suffered and was depressed.
It happened to me also.
It was not fair for him.
But now my friend, turn your bitterness back to joy.
Pray… and I will pray for you.
Get counseling. Counseling as difficult at first for me.
But reading, learning to trust again helps.
Bless you.
Janet Phillips
Laurel Maryland
I am. Vietnam Veteran who was discharged in 1969. Coming back to civilian life made very bitter in that no one cared, labeled me a murderer and had difficulty finding a job. I was an electronic technician and wind up repairing tvs. I worked for the postal service and really could understand why they had so many shootings. Supervisors had no leadership clues and were very cruel. I am now retired and see the country getting even worse. I wish all the vets well. Semper Fi.
Sylvester I’m right there with you I got out in 69 right out of Vietnam had to leave California or I would have been in jail I too was spit at at San Francisco airport by some protesters call me a murderer and everything else but I’m right there with you Sylvester I’m still having a hard time and I’m going to be 74 soon I take all kinds of pills in the morning to deal with my PTSD so good luck to you brother
In listed 69 served 11months vietnam.. Served total of 31 months including 17 months in Germany 6 months of that with wife. Came home went back to mill work . ”CHOSE TO NOT LET THING BOTHER ME” retired after 38 years. Filed for VA disability for heart and agent orange affects .Got 80% .just married 71 years 2 kids 8 grandkids 3 greatgrandkids.Enjoying life to the fullist.
Oops typo married 51 years.
I have been browsing online more than 3 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all site owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be a lot more useful than ever before.
i SAID IT WAS DIFFICULT. i DIDN’T SAY IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE. I still do things that most people would call paranoid or suspicious. Sleep habits and security measures. Trust issues with anyone who has never served, until I know them.
It’s only as hard as you make it. Most Vets think they are owned a free ticket . Man Up and take control of your life. You had the training and experience to run circles around what we have to compete with. I know I never worried about that. So do what you do best, “Take Charge”.
AMEN, I am a Vietnam Vet doing fine even being disabled from Agent Orange. So man up.
I do take charge but not that easy civilian structure of work experience is lacking. I retired three years ago and very highly experience in auto repair but Always got the hard jobs no one else wanted I keep my head up and push on
Thanks for all your efforts that you have put in this. very interesting info .
Nobody knows what they are doing, military service transition needs a lot of work. They need to focus on older veterans leaving service. Go over all the issues with returning to a civilian lifestyle. I’m not broken I’m just more experienced whether it is technical skills or leadership I’m a better product. IBEW, I’d love to work with them but they have no respect for experienced veterans because of their experience with none experienced veterans they think all veterans are dirtbags. Just go in and apply and see how you are treated. They’re missing out on a gold mine, on the other hand, a better job could be done by the military when articulating technical expertise. They need to be online with O net: https://www.onetonline.org. I have two degrees so it has to be age discrimination.
I had the same problem leaving the airforce as a Senior NCO Medical Technician. After I retired I had to go back to school and get my Nursing License. I have been involved in EMS / Nursing Education since 1970, I applied for a Nurse Educator position at a local hospital. By that time, I had 30+ yrs education, experience, had my MSN in Nursing Education, was an Independent Duty Medical Technician, a Superintendant for a Nursing Eduaction office, Been an Affiliate Faculty for the local Community College Nursing Program, and finished 5 yrs working in Cairo Egypt teaching the Egyptian Nurses Western style nursing. well during the SECOND interview I was asked how many years of bedside experience I had – being honest – I said out of 28yrs, 19 were bedside . Well I waas passed over for a THIRD interview because They had other nurses with MORE EXTENSIVE EXPEIENCE!!! Yeah right, I was a 58 yr old Male Nurse !!!
I understand your dilemma Alex. These civilians do not understand Veterans. I was Army 1973-1994, 12 years Ranger and 9 years SF medic on a hot team. When I retired I went back to school and got my Paramedic while I taught CPR at a community college. Finished community college and went to the university to complete my Masters in Education along with my MSN. Working all during this time maintaining a family of 5. My wife my very supportive but could not understand the problem with people? Civilians want to punish you for being in the military and one has to work harder than the others! They expect military to be non-confrontational. I learned very quickly to just do the job. I learned to look the other way for the people who feel they are privileged. I survived my 10 years getting it done. It takes effort and discipline which all military soldiers have. THEY do not have a clue what veterans go through or have gone through. Yes some of us are damaged but you will succeed if given a chance to succeed. They must be patient and so must we be. I hope this helps some of to understand your journey. I am now a traveling nurse with my wife enjoying my golden years I struggled to achieve going through out the US in an RV. Thank God I hung in there with my family and wife. I will continue to pray for all our Veterans every day. My brother Marine and sons Navy and Coast Guard. I will think of you all while I travel. Happy at 67 and still working. 2nd Ranger Bat and 7th group SF. “Rangers Lead the Way!” HRM
22 years after I separated, marriage and my relationship with oldest child is still broken. I don’t play well with others unless they are vets, so jobs are out.
I’ve been retired for 17 years I thought I could what I had in the military in the fire department, however the brother hood that firefighter’s believe they have is nothing you get in the military the several jobs I’ve been in since retiring from the fire department just offer nothing but a paycheck no leadership of any kind with the exception of narcissistic leadership
IO had an early provision so that I could continue college. I was the oldest student in my c lasses and was asked more questions about my service than I could give answers to. Those classmates that were post service men and women were strong support, I gave more to them than I needed from them. It made for a lot of loving companions down at our favorite bare that catered mostly to vets of all kinds.
My enlistment was cut short for Psychological reasons. When put on a temporary disability List, I struggled with everything, from College to Marriage. So many times I just wanted to die in my sleep or any other method possible. I had over 100 employments all over the Country and would be fired from them for NOT making any sense. My language was like word salad and it was difficult to remember things. Other than that, I was a proud SGT Helicopter Mechanic in the US Air Force. What happened? I just snapped one day and poof, I was on the street homeless, no self esteem and confused. I now go to the VA Medical Centers for treatment. To be honest, I still feel lost in my own mind. I still feel suicidal, but I think old age will get me first. Thank you for your survey
After 55 years I have yet to transition thanks to the lack of support from family, community and nation. From the bush to the US to a Naval hospital and medically retired in less than six months. Refused by the VFW and the American Legion, and ostracized by the glorious VA for more than 29 years, I simply do not play well with other children. I would rather be back in Vietnam than among American civilians!
That is so TRUE I served 64 to 70 and still get no respect People have changed so much since my father and older brother did I hate crowds of people and all the talking
Upon my return from Vietnam I weighed only 122lbs. I was so off the wall my dad took me to the nearest VA hospital in the Bronx. They kept me for 6 months. This was pre PTSD and I was told I had psychosis, whatever that means. At the time the place was a Zoo. Not only we Nam vets were resented by the general public, even the WWll guys on the ward were not at all supportive, They we’re told they were shell shocked or had battle fatigue.
After the 6 months I couldn’t take any more and signed out AMA. Then like many other vets the streets became my new war zone.
The rest of my life (including my careers) has been a roller coaster. My 3 marriages and divorces weren’t much better either.
What I’ve learned is that my life story is not all that unique. Countless other Nam vets have had a similar life experience.
What’s past is past. I just hope these more recent combat veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan have an easier time than we did, both in their treatment and the VA’s willingness to grant them their financial benefits.
I agree we were treated as scum non human and the family didn’t give any support it was like we were alone in a different world now sometimes now some will say you are a hero it pisses me off and I tell them the ones that gave all are the heroes not me I only gave some
You are correct John we are not the heroes, the ones left behind are the true heroes and mine! I served 73-94 and still resent the cliche “thank you for your service “ HEY you really want to show me your appreciation? Buy my lunch! Help me out! Something to show you understand our dilemma! Before going to Vietnam many soldiers were treated with a great send off in Vegas!! You don’t see that anymore. Take care John! Army Ranger Bob
When I retired from active duty in the Air Force, all I had known my entire life was the military (I was an Army dependent). I took a Civil Service job as a way to ‘slide’ into civilian life. That may or may not have worked, however I was offered a job at EDS, the company that Ross Perot, Sr, started. They loved the military and in fact recruited from the military, so my transition was easy. While there are some companies that actively hire veterans, they don’t recruit like EDS did in the 80’s and 90’s. He was truly a visionary. Look up his history sometime and the mark he made on the world, especially the World of IT.
I see my name on this list! What does it matter ? As one mentioned, “l don’t trust anyone anymore!!
When I came home from VietNam I was afraid to go to sleep for fear of waking up back there. I wondered around the streets of my home town for almost 5 days before I past out from exhaustion.
To this day I have trouble holding a job without a Union to back me up like when I worked at General Motors. There were years that I didn’t have a job after our GM plant sent everyone without 10 years in at the plant. I was locked in the mental ward for 2 weeks and when I was released the discharge said mild PTSD. I tried to get the police to kill me after a highspeed chase. I walked away from a wonderful woman after 9 years of marriage because I was drinking and becoming out of control. I didn’t want to hurt her or our son in a fit of rage. To this very day I don’t trust myself but the VA still turns me down for PTSD.
It was a little difficult adapting and finding my place in civilian life after my discharge. It took five years and a move to another state to finally get back on track, and start being a mindful and productive citizen. My knee injuries that I suffered during my military career and a divorce during that five-year stint didn’t help matters either, Once settled, I separated myself as far as I could from the military, until my brother showed me a more positive side of being an active veteran.
It was so encouraging to readxtge comments. It was very difficult to separate from military back to civilian life. There were not programs in place no behavior health! I was just lost in transitions. For at least 9 months was mentally paralyzed. I had so many mixed emotions and feeling guilty about leaving my brothers & sisters in Arms in harms way as I returned to USA. I was in the Desert Shield Desert Storm conflict. I served 1989 and seoerated 2003.
I retired in 1994. In the first job interview, I was told I wouldn’t probably fit in (It was the local water district!) because I had been taking orders my whole career. Excuse Me!!?? I had been GIVING orders since I was 21! They had no idea what I was capable of doing. Nothing ever came close to tapping my skills. However, as a Disabled Female Vet running my own show was the way to go. WIsh the civilian world understood what we are all capable of!
STILL IN TRANSITION…SERVED IN CONFLICT OVERSEAS.
WENT INTO VIETNAM 1970-71
THEN VIETNAM WENT INTO ME!
NUFF SAID
When I got out in 1980 I was told by my first sgt it wouldn’t be the same any more I blew it off and thought it wouldn’t bother me. Couldn’t have been more wrong. I even tried going back in they refused me because I didn’t have my GED WENT IN WITHOUT one but wouldn’t let me back in was very troubled about that. But still went and signed up for the reserves,had to be Involved some how then the Army national guard then the reserves again. Till this day I go to the VA for my service connected disabilities and collect my 80 percent. So ya I spent a lot of time many years wanting and needing to belong to a military family. I met some great people and some not. I learned so much about life and myself and respect. 17 teen year old and now 62. Maybe not everything turned out the way it should have for me but thank you Army thank you services for all I did get and have and learned.
I retired in 1997…. I still haven’t transitioned into the civilian way of life. It’s so unorganized and filled with the art of cut throat.
When I left active duty life was full of surprises and insecurities got slammed for my health care by my employer there was no one to talk to about what I went through
I was discharged 1973, nothing was even offered to us back then!! You were basically put out on the street!! I’ve been trying to deal with the transition ever since, and I am 74
It was and is very hard. I even went through a separation course before getting out, and let me tell you it was full of false information and none facts! You ask how? Well they don’t tell you that if you take the sep and then do or try to do anything with the VA they come knocking on the door for every dime you got and nothing you can do about it. They don’t tell you that your military time translates to nothing and job fears get you jobs like with t-mobile, and other low income jobs. Yah serve you country durning war and then screw you and good luck!
Go us Transition from
On release from active duty, veteran’s should receive bae pay for two additional years’ plus counseling aid.
That’s a good idea..
I agree. But even then. It’s been 10 years since I have been out. I’m worse off now than then. I don’t trust anyone anymore. I am not the same person as I was when I went in. My kids and wife remember me in a whole different way and say I was the most loving and kind man. Now they are no longer in my life. They hate me and can’t stand to be around me. I am alone and homeless. Rated 100% disabled 10 years ago with spine injuries and TBI. My mental state is 10 times worse than when I got out. I have nothing left. I currently a victim to the same system that victimized myself and my family 10 years ago. I can’t take much more. I’m to the point of why bother with life anymore.
I agree also a little late now, but for the rest.